Are Participation Trophies Really That Bad?!?!?!?

Imagine unearthing a dusty box of childhood memories and finding not just trophies but participation ribbons that tell stories of growth and perseverance. While critics might see these ribbons as symbols of entitlement, I share personal anecdotes that highlight their deeper significance. .
We'll explore how participation ribbons are not about making everyone feel like a winner but about celebrating each child's dedication and hard work. In a world that often values results over the journey, these small acknowledgments can be powerful tools for instilling resilience and self-worth.  Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on nurturing our children amid the relentless pressures of modern achievement.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to Brain-Based Parenting , the Boys Ranch podcast for families . We all know how hard being a parent is and sometimes it feels like there are no good answers to the difficult questions families have when their kids are struggling . Our goal each week will be to try and answer some of those tough questions , utilizing the knowledge , experience and professional training Cal Farley's Boys Ranch has to offer . Now . Here is your host . Cal Farley's Boys Ranch has to offer Now . Here is your host . Cal Farley's Staff Development Coordinator , joshua Sprock .

Speaker 2 0:30

The participation ribbon debate is an interesting one . For some reason , our society has pinned many of the ills of modern-day parenting on a small trinket of appreciation , and we often accept this as an absolute truth . Now I understand that not everyone is a fan of participation ribbons . Some argue these awards dilute the spirit of competition or contribute to a sense of entitlement . Critics say that kids who receive trophies just for showing up might lose the incentive to strive for excellence . While these concerns are not without merit , they miss an important aspect of what participation trophies and ribbons truly represent . But there's more to consider . I believe they serve a different and equally important purpose encouraging effort and fostering personal growth . As a society , we become more aware of the immense pressure we place on kids to succeed , whether it's in school sports , extracurricular activities . The bar is constantly being raised In this fast-paced world . Participation ribbons can serve as a gentle reminder to celebrate the small victories and to value the process of growth , because sometimes just showing up is a victory in of itself . We also live in an age where more and more kids are playing sports on video games instead of out in the field . We need to encourage kids to engage in real-world activities in any way that we can .

Speaker 2 1:43

As someone who grew up in the heyday of participation ribbons and had a mother who kept everything I ever won , I often reflected on the value and merit of these awards . When I graduated from college , my mom handed me boxes filled with all my stuff to go through . As I sifted through them , I found various awards , trophies and ribbons from my childhood . What I found interesting is that I didn't spend that much time reminiscing over my first place trophies , medals and ribbons . Those happy memories were already etched into my mind . Instead , I found myself spending an unexpected amount of time looking at and surprisingly enjoying all my participation trophies . One plaque in particular stood out to me . It had a soccer ball etched on it and it read 1988 , westwood Raiders . I remembered that season well . We lost every single game , scoring only one goal the entire season . But I remembered Coach Sundquist . He was kind , funny and he never yelled at us , even when we lost one game 17-0 . I also found a white participation ribbon from the 100-yard dash during elementary track meet . I vividly remember being in first place , only to step in a hole a few yards from the finish line , skinning my knee and ended up finishing last . I was devastated . But what really struck me wasn't the fall . It was my teacher , miss Lipman , who ran over to make sure I was okay . She walked me to the nurse's office , comforted me with a band-aid , and when we got back , several people clapped for me and I was awarded my white participation ribbon .

Speaker 2 3:16

I could probably share more memories like these , but the common thread in all of them is that an adult took some time to care , notice and appreciate my effort . They didn't hand out ribbons just to make me feel like a winner . Instead , they poured care and concern into me , which strengthened the relationship with me in those moments . At no point have I ever looked at a participation award and thought , wow , I must be an incredible athlete or I'm going to be the next Michael Jordan . But I always did say thank you to the adults who cheered me on and encouraged me to keep working hard .

Speaker 2 3:47

Reflecting on my childhood awards , I realized that ribbons didn't signal their innate talent or victory . Instead , they celebrated the perseverance I showed , a key element in developing what we now call a growth mindset . Now , as a coach myself , I've handed out plenty of participation awards and never once have I had a child believe that they won something that they didn't earn . On both the successful teams I coached and the ones that got crushed at the end of the seasons . Kids always gave me a hug , told me that they had fun , learned something new and thanked me for being their coach . I also think of my daughters when they were in ballet .

Speaker 2 4:20

Every week at the end of the class they would rush to the front of the line and fight to get a participation sticker from the teacher . But by the time we got to the car the sticker was often lost , given away or discarded . This tells me the sticker itself wasn't important . It was the fact that someone they admired noticed them and took a moment to make them feel special . And that's what is at the heart of every participation ribbon in a trophy . It's a relationship . It's not the ribbon itself that matters . It's the coach who hands it out , the teacher who encourages the student to keep trying . The parent says I'm proud of you for sticking with it . These moments create the foundation for resilience and confidence in our children .

Speaker 2 4:58

Of course , I'm not suggesting that we should just hand out ribbons willy-nilly and call it a day . These rewards are only meaningful when they're paired with genuine feedback , guidance and encouragement to keep improving . Without relationships and honest feedback . Participation ribbons become an empty gesture , but when used thoughtfully , they can be a tool for growth . Interestingly , recent studies have shown that when recognition focuses on effort rather than results , children start to develop a growth mindset . A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can develop through dedication and hard work , and this is where participation ribbons really shine . They're not about making every child feel like a winner . They're about encouraging persistence , resilience and a love for learning and improvement .

Speaker 2 5:42

In today's world , where instant gratification through screens is prevalent , the physical and tangible reward of a participation ribbon provides a grounding experience that reinforces real-world effort . As technology dominates our children's lives , participation ribbons take on a new level of importance . We're constantly battling the pull of screens , video games , social media , which , if allowed , can often replace a real-world experience . It's easy for kids to get lost in the virtual world , where effort doesn't always match results and the immediate reward of a like can overshadow the joy of participating and engaging in a real-life activity with real-life people . In contrast to the fleeting satisfaction of a like on social media , participation ribbon reflects the effort invested in the real world , reinforcing the value of showing up and trying . This is where small rewards like a participation trophy can serve as a powerful tool . They remind kids that being physically present , engaging with others and putting effort in really matters . These small tokens help pull kids away from the isolating world of screens and into the real , valuable world of teamwork , growth and personal effort .

Speaker 2 6:49

Ultimately , participation ribbons aren't about rewarding mediocrity . They're about creating environments where effort is acknowledged , where showing up and trying your best is valued . The relationship built through these moments are what help shape a child's resilience , confidence and willingness to try again . And isn't that what we really want for our kids ? Participation ribbons remind us that success isn't measured by trophies alone , but by the strength of relationships and the persistence to keep trying .

Speaker 2 7:16

In a world that sometimes overlooks the power of showing up , these small tokens encourage a future generation to value growth , effort and the connections that shape their journey . And , in the end , participation ribbons remind us that success is not just about winning , but about the relationships we build and the lessons we learn along the way . These moments shape not just athletes , but well-rounded individuals who value effort and perseverance . It's not about the ribbon itself . It's about the relationship that forms when somebody takes the time to notice , appreciate and encourage a child . Those relationships are the building blocks for their future success . Thank you for joining us today . If you'd like to participate in this discussion or contact us to ask a question , our email address is podcasts at calfardleyorg . I'll leave a link in the description . Also , if you haven't already , please follow and subscribe to the show and leave us that five-star review and tell your best friends that they should also listen . And always you might have to load out your front of labs today , just make sure you remember to get them back .

Speaker 1 8:18

Thank you for listening to Brain Based Parenting . We hope you enjoyed this show . If you would like more information about Cal Farley's Boys Ranch , are interested in employment , would like information about placing your child , or would like to help us help children by donating to our mission , please visit calfarleyorg . You can find us on all social media platforms by searching for Calfarley's . Thank you for spending your time with us and have a blessed day .