Counseling, Medication, When to Seek Help for Your Child

Parents often wait, hoping a rough patch will pass, while school struggles grow and home feels stretched thin. We dig into a clear framework for knowing when concern crosses into “get support now,” how to cut through stigma, and which first steps at home can calm a child’s nervous system. From predictable routines and better sleep to nutrition checks and secure attachment, we outline the practical levers that reduce anxiety and meltdowns before you even book a session.

Then we break down the therapy landscape in plain language. Not every kid thrives in talk therapy; some open up through play, art, music, equine work, or body-based practices. We explain how to choose a good-fit counselor, why giving kids a say builds buy-in, and what realistic progress looks like between sessions. Expect skill building and growth—not instant fixes—and learn how to track change with simple notes on frequency, intensity, and triggers that you can share with your clinician and your child’s school.

Medication gets honest attention here. Used well, it can be a short-term bridge that steadies overwhelming symptoms so counseling can work. We cover the questions to ask your prescriber, how to collaborate on side effects and goals, and why exploring root causes like trauma or bullying matters as much as treating symptoms that resemble ADHD or anxiety. We also share how to respond when schools suggest medication, how to advocate without being pressured, and how to coordinate supports so the classroom, home, and therapy room pull in the same direction.

Contact:
podcasts@calfarley.org 

To Donate: 
https://secure.calfarley.org/site/Donation2?3358.donation=form1&df_id=3358&mfc_pref=T

To Apply:
https://apply.workable.com/cal-farleys-boys-ranch/j/25E1226091/

For More Information about Cal Farley's Boys Ranch:
https://www.calfarley.org/

Music:
"Shine" -Newsboys
CCS License No. 9402

Transcript

Welcome And Listener Email

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Brain-Based Parenting, the Boys Ranch podcast for families. We all know how hard being a parent is, and sometimes it feels like there are no good answers to the difficult questions families have when their kids are struggling. Our goal each week will be to try and answer some of those tough questions, utilizing the knowledge, experience, and professional training Cal Farley's Boys Ranch has to offer. Now here is your host, Cal Farley Staff Development Coordinator, Joshua Sprock.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Hello and welcome. Today we're going to talk about a possibly difficult topic when to seek counseling and medication to support your child. To do that today, I'm joined by Laura Bounds.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

I am the assistant administrator of clinical emplacement here at Boys Ranch.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

I'm Adam Len. I'm a counselor here at Boys Ranch and an LPC associate in Texas. All right, so let's kick off with our question of the day. Who was your go-to source for advice when you were a kid? I would say that it was my mom. And that was because she was an attuned caregiver. She was there for me every single day and just provided that emotional safety for me to reach out to with any issues that I may have been having.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Yeah, and I would say mine was my grandmother, had a really close relationship with her, thought she was the smartest woman on earth. And she we just had a really close connection. I felt like I could I was always safe with her, trusted her, and I feel like, yeah, it was just a really neat thing.

Normal Struggles Versus Clinical Concerns

SPEAKER_02 1:24

So mine was my mom's. She was just always available, always kind, always thoughtful, and gave me good advice. All right, so today I'm gonna share an email a listener sent in. They asked for their name not to be shared, so I won't do that. But the question really does address some common concerns a lot of parents have regarding both when to seek counseling services and ask for medication for their children. All right, so here's the email. I wanted to reach out for help with my 10-year-old son. He's really struggling in school, and the other kids pick on him. And he is way behind his peers socially and in his homework. The school passed him last year, even though I don't think he met any of the standards. I've been considering counseling or seeking medication referrals. The school has been pushing me to get him on meds. However, my family has always been very against counseling and medication. So I thought I would reach out and see if you could give me some advice on if I should seek out a counselor and what to look for, and what are your thoughts on medications and possible alternatives to medication? So I'm so thankful that this listener reached out. We'll try our best to answer this question. While our panel does bring experience and insight to this conversation, just remember families should always consult their pediatrician or a qualified healthcare provider when making decisions about counseling and medication. So let's start with how can parents tell the difference between normal developmental struggles and something that may require more professional support?

SPEAKER_01 2:36

So I think this is something really common. This is something that a lot of parents wonder some something that I think of and the rule of thumb would be an aspect that you're noticing that's interfering with daily life. And so if you're seeing something that the kiddo needs further support on, not just encouragement, but like one-on-one support, or you're having to emotionally or physically help them with whatever they may be taking care of, that could mean that they may you may need to reach out to someone and just talk about what are the options, what are next steps, what guidance can you give me? But I do think that this is really something that's very common. And sometimes people feel isolated whenever they have this concern, but really normalizing that this is something that a lot of families, parents, caregivers go through.

Stigma, Shame, And Reframing Help

SPEAKER_03 3:22

And I might add that caregivers, it helps for them to be kind of attuned as to their level of regulation and comfort handling a situation. And so if you find yourself becoming overly stressed or dysregulated because maybe something that something involving your child, it might not be a bad idea to seek support for yourself as well. So why do you think there's still so much stigma around counseling and medication? I think a lot of it is maybe very misunderstood. There's a lot of information out there, a lot of expectations within certain communities, different family systems that might discourage counseling and medication because of the belief that it, you know, these problems should be able to be handled in other ways.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Yeah. And I think so. Research says that one in five kiddos have a diagnosable mental health condition. I think it could be possibly even more. But I think sometimes, you know, we see this with physical uh medical conditions, like autoimmune and those types of things. If you can't see what someone is struggling with, we tend to think maybe it's not there, right? And so mental health, most times it may not be something that someone can see with their eyes. And it's more about, you know, we do see behaviors, we do see meltdowns, we do see, you know, symptoms of anxiety and depression. But I think if it were something more like a broken bone that someone had a cast on, then they can pay more attention to that. And so I think we're getting better about these things. And I think mental health is getting more of a positive stigma, if you will. But I also think that we do need to continue to talk about it and normalize these situations and needs because I think everyone can, being honest, has gone through something in their life where they've needed additional help or support.

SPEAKER_02 5:04

Do you think there's any aspect of parents thinking like they ask for help from professional services that they may be looked at as a failure as a parent? And that's why they're hesitant to ask for counseling services? I'm sure that comes up all the time.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Yeah. And I think that's a really important point to bring up that, you know, as an LPC, we need to be able to really come from a strengths-based perspective for the caregiver and really kind of help them to focus on the strengths that they have so that they're they have that reassurance that they are doing what they can.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

So, how can parents reframe counseling and medication in a way that reduces shame and encourages wise productive care?

Signs It Is Time For Counseling

SPEAKER_03 5:43

I like an analogy that Laura had made where you wouldn't deny care to somebody with a broken bone, especially talking with children. I I think it's important to let them know there's nothing, there's nothing wrong with them. We're just, you know, we're we're just taking care of them and keeping them safe.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

I really like that. Taking care of them and keeping them safe, and that we're there for a support, a type of encouragement. We do always refer to counseling as counseling, but we we also, you know, there's different types of counseling that can be really helpful specifically for kids, such as play therapy, art therapy, music therapy. And so I think that's important to note too.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

So, what are some common signs that indicate counseling might be a helpful next step for a child or parent?

SPEAKER_03 6:26

I think the first things that a caregiver should maybe consider is how how well structured it are other areas of the of the child's life, like sleep, how is their sleep, how is their nutrition, how how is their therapeutic web of a relationship? If the if all of those are being met sufficiently and there's still some some concerns, then counseling might be might be a helpful next step.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yeah, and just to add to that, I think as much information you can give to the clinical team is so helpful. So, like the frequency of of maybe uh there's a panic attack every time you go to a certain place, or there is a situation that ne requires a lot of just support and encouragement and talking the child down, de-escalating some of those challenging feelings, being able to tell a counselor how often that's occurring, what any triggers may be, and and what even backstory of what may the child may have gone through or what may be going on in their life, I think is really significant too.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

So before seeking counseling or medication, what are some foundational steps families should take at home?

SPEAKER_03 7:32

I would highlight again the importance of structure and routine and then meeting the child's needs on a very, very physical and emotional level, making sure that the child is receiving adequate sleep and nutrition and that relationships are strong in their lives.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

I would agree. I think, you know, we talk a lot about attachment theory and how important that is. And I think when a child understands that their parents that they have a healthy attachment to wants to help them, they are really open to wanting to kind of follow whatever it is that the the parent is leading them to.

Home Foundations Before Therapy

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Kind of a follow-up question. Maybe you, as the parent or caregiver, have seen the need for counseling for your kid, but they seem resistant to wanting to do counseling. Do you have any advice or strategies on how you can encourage kids in those situations?

SPEAKER_01 8:18

I think at that point you're kind of looking at maybe what would be a good fit for them and looking at providers that could be a good fit for them. You know, there's lots of different types of therapies to choose from. There's equine therapy, which I think is just an amazing option. And then there's also, like I mentioned before, art therapy, music therapy, those types of things. But also just opening the conversation to have a truthful and honest dialogue about what therapy can provide, how it could be helpful, and and just keeping that conversation going.

SPEAKER_03 8:51

Yeah, I'd second that. It's it's really interesting how there's so much under the umbrella of the word counseling. There's so many different modalities. Some of them are more verbal, cognitive based, but there are so many, so many ways to help a person in counseling that don't in even involve talking at all. And that could be working with animals, neurofeedback, body practices such as yoga. There's so much, so much out there, such a variety of ways to provide counseling services.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

I know my wife had a kid on her caseload a while ago that was pretty resistant to doing counseling. But what she did is most most counselors have websites and their pictures on them and their bios and stuff like that. So she had this kid kind of go through a whole bunch of different ones and read their bios, look at their pictures, and find one that was they felt comfortable with. And I thought that was kind of a smart way to kind of get them, give them some power and control to pick who they wanted to go talk to.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Yeah. And if it doesn't work with one counselor, that doesn't mean that there isn't somebody else out there who might be a better fit.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

And I think counseling, it's such a sensitive type of space that you are getting from a professional. And I think the kiddo having some buy-in for being able to choose and utilize their opportunity to have some control over the situation makes a huge difference.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

So what about things like structure, routine, sleep, nutrition, discipline, and relationships when evaluating emotional and behavioral concerns?

Matching Kids To The Right Modality

SPEAKER_01 10:13

So there's lots of times I think that I've seen kiddos who are experiencing anxiety symptoms. And what we try to do whenever they come in after we've kind of worked through building some rapport and connection is looking at what do their daily habits look like. Just to note, I've had kiddos that have come in before and they're experiencing these symptoms of anxiety. And so, you know, we'll work on some anti-anxiety strategies and trying to reduce those symptoms. But I think also, you know, I've had kiddos that will go to their PCP and they'll have yearly blood work done and it can be some type of physiological issue that is causing some anxious symptoms. And so I think it's really important to be very holistic when looking for these things. I know that, you know, kiddos, whenever they talk about not being tired at night and waking up exhausted, that it's going to affect or increase the symptoms that they might be experiencing, whether that's anxiety symptoms or depressive symptoms. We talk about how nutrition plays a huge role in our bodies overall. And so we've heard a lot of research related to how vitamin D is helpful, magnesium can be helpful, vitamin B, iron, those types of things. And it's just important that we are looking at them from an overall picture versus just kind of what may be going on right now.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

I think routines that are patterned and repetitive are a lot easier to help a child to feel safe in a situation. Environments that are a little bit less structured, a little bit more chaotic and unpredictable really set up a child's stress response system to be a little bit heightened and more alert. And that could lead to some emotional and behavioral concerns.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

And of course, when we're looking at discipline types, are we looking at a positive behavior support type of discipline? Or is the caregiver coming more from a they are using a lot of punishments and punitive pieces in their discipline? Because those types of approaches make a difference. And then also, what is going on between their relationship, between the child and their caregiver, or even extended family sometimes, or even caregivers' extended family?

SPEAKER_02 12:20

So, what is the true purpose of counseling and what should parents realistically expect it to do and maybe not to do?

SPEAKER_03 12:26

Well, I don't think it's realistic for parents or caregivers to send their child to counseling, expecting the counselor to fix all of the concerns within a 45 or 60 minute session once per week. It seems more realistic for the child to be provided with maybe some new skills, new ways to approach situations, new ways to process information that can then be taken home, supported by that parent and caregiver throughout the week or you know, throughout the time between sessions.

Structure, Sleep, Nutrition, And Behavior

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Yeah. And I think, you know, when we're looking at the purpose of counseling, I think it's an honor for any counselor to be able to be a support and providing assistance to a child and family and also being able to, whether that's processing trauma or kind of going through helping the child to feel safe, maybe they're experiencing anxiety in a new situation, that type of thing. I think there is also the relationship component is so important because counselors do have to build that trust with their clients or kiddos that they're working with. I think it's so neat to kind of see that process unfold. I always talk about with the kiddos that I see that if I, you know, if I see you in public, I'm not gonna say hi to you. If you want to say hi to me, you can. And then sure enough, I'll see them in public and they're like, Laura, Laura. And then they're like, this is my therapist, you know, and they they get so excited. But just for I think counseling is such a, it's such a personal and it's such a, it's such a special relationship. It really is, because it's an opportunity for a child to get, you know, new skills, new coping mechanisms, new, uh almost a new way of living life where they feel more in control and being able to be a part of that is an honor, but also helping the parents bringing them in so that they can continue to nourish those newly learned skills and really kind of build on that foundation. I think also in counseling, you know, there is there are kiddos who come, maybe they begin once a week and then they go to every two weeks and then maybe monthly. And then, you know, it is scary for kiddos and parents when you say you've met all your treatment goals. And and I think as a counselor, one of the things that's important to do is to kind of put some control back in their hands and say, I can keep you on my schedule PRN. So that way when you feel like you need a check-in, when you feel like you need a refresher session, we're able to do that. And they're not just, it's almost like a safety net.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

So, how does effective counseling support skill building and growth rather than just trying to simply fix the behavior?

SPEAKER_03 15:00

I think behavior is a it's very complicated because it involves so much of that person's past. And you can't, you know, the past can't really be, it can't be rewritten at all. And so counseling, providing skill building and growth, it's a way to, you know, take what's happened in the past, acknowledge it, and figure out how it can be, how behavior can be changed moving forward.

What Counseling Can And Cannot Do

SPEAKER_01 15:21

And we're also looking at, you know, we want to continue what this person has learned, what this child has learned, and we want to continue to build upon that, just as the past can't be rewritten. There's gonna be things that happen in life that we aren't able to fix. Uh it happens to all of us. And so we have to be able to utilize those skills and be able to pull from things that we've learned to get through some of those situations. And so I think counseling is so important just in terms of not only learning new skills, but also being able to help the child realize that they can do this and empowering them and showing them that they do have some control in every situation based on what they how they react to it. And it's it's just a neat thing, I think, for kids to recognize that, see that, and then identify that in their own lives and start use utilizing some of the things that they've learned.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

So, what should parents look for in a counselor or a therapist to ensure a good fit for their child and their family?

SPEAKER_03 16:18

Well, we spoke a little bit earlier about how many different counseling modalities are out there. And so it's helpful for the caregivers to recognize that it's not one size fits all and maybe to explore options for therapists in their area, read bios, read descriptions about what kind of services that person can offer. You know, recognizing that again, not all counseling is kind of top brain, abstract thinking, you know, that kind of counselor, it m you know, it might be helpful in in certain situations, but might not be the best for a dysregulated nine-year-old.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

And to Adam's point, I would say there are lots of therapists who maybe specialize in a certain type trauma, or they're really good with family therapy. They're really good with couples therapy. This person is a phenomenal play therapist and and just kind of looking at the therapist qualifications. And then also kind of a lot of therapists, I know on psychology today, some of them will have videos and kind of seeing their demeanor and seeing how they you can get a little glimpse of kind of their personality and seeing if it would be a good fit. There are some kiddos that I know that, you know, don't respond really well to bubbly and outgoing and those types of things and prefer someone more quiet and reserved. And then there's people who are kiddos on the other side of that who they want their therapists to be really, really loud and really excited and all of those things. So I think just knowing your kiddo really well and then being able to kind of match the therapist to what your child would work best with. And I liked what Adam had said earlier, that if something doesn't feel like a good fit, there are so many options. And I think also just, you know, using your support network to ask questions about who they've who like maybe it's a friend and and who they've heard of that has been really good. I know word of mouth is so important too, because people have actually seen those counselors and worked with those counselors. So I think that's really important. And then a counselor that can be available to provide that support. So looking at do they, do they provide crisis counseling? Some therapists will be very vocal about the fact that they don't have an after hours, maybe crisis line. And so, and if if you're comfortable with that, if you're wanting a counselor that can be more hands-on for those moments when you might need some crisis counseling, or if that does look like, you know, just utilizing the behavioral health services that we have in our community.

Skill Building Over Quick Fixes

SPEAKER_03 18:45

I would say that it's not a bad idea for a parent or care caregiver when considering counseling for their child to approach the first meeting or first conversation with the counselor like an interview. So to arrive with a set of questions that you're ready to ask the counselor. And if the counselor can't answer those or doesn't have, you know, kind of an approach to the situation that makes you feel comfortable, then you might kind of look around, talk to some more people.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Laura, you'd mentioned word of mouth. What do you guys think about reaching out to people like your pediatrician or like a pastor at your church or some a community member like that?

SPEAKER_01 19:20

I think that's a great idea. A lot of pediatricians in our area and just family physicians, they have a list that they usually refer to and they'll actually give the list to the patient. And that way they it gives them just kind of a blueprint of options. And then taking that list and maybe asking their social support networks and and just, you know, I think many times people have heard of uh whether they've used their services or not. And I think word of mouth is so much more impactful than being given a list or even seeing someone on a profile because that means someone has actually been to them and and knows a little bit more about their style and that type of thing, which can make a huge difference.

SPEAKER_03 20:06

And as a counselor, I don't think it would be a bad idea to have a list of referrals, you know, yourself. So that if you recognize that a client may be better served by somebody else, the responsible thing to do would be to, you know, make that referral and put the person in contact with it.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

So how can parents tell if counseling is actually helping and when they might be time to adjust or change providers?

How To Choose A Good-Fit Therapist

SPEAKER_01 20:25

So something that I typically notice with parents is, you know, they will come back and give you a report of how the child is doing. So maybe the child is not experiencing as much anxiety before school and they're seeing improvement in their grades or they're seeing improvement just from the teacher reports or something along those lines. And it might be they're sleeping better. It might be they're noticing that they are more outgoing, more social with their friends, that type of thing. Some of sometimes if I can't get a good gauge or reading on what the parent may be trying, the information they may be trying to give me, I do have a document that I'll give the parents that will help me kind of get some of that data that I may need to see if there's been some positive progression. One of the things that I would say here, just to caution, is that we're all going to kind of sometimes revert to old ways, right? And so understanding that if a kiddo has a behavioral relapse, it doesn't mean that maybe they're not counseling isn't effective. Maybe it's very effective and the kiddo is just feeling safe in that moment and then understanding, you know, we're still moving forward. We're still seeing some positive indicators that they are making changes and that we're seeing some improvement. But I really do think it will, you know, be in their day-to-day. It it may be something subtle, something very small, but something that is is very significant at the same time.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

I think that there are a lot of layers to healing as well. For for people who have been dealing with anxiety, for example, for a long period of time, the fear. Feeling of not being anxious is maybe uncomfortable. And sometimes, you know, especially with children, they might not know how to handle that. And then so behavior could revert back just because it's what they're familiar with when really the issue is I'm I'm actually maybe feeling a little bit better. And I don't know how to handle that.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

So thinking about helping and knowing if it's helping or not, a common question I've heard parents ask is, you know, they understand there's confidentiality rules with what the kid tells them, but the parent wants to know like how's counseling going? What can counselors tell parents and what can't they tell them?

SPEAKER_01 22:32

That's typically something that we outline at the beginning and kind of decide what the comfortability piece is for because I my some part of my position as a counselor is to educate the parent and help them understand that counseling can't be effective is if the child feels like everything that they tell me, I'm going to go and tell the parent. And so having the parent kind of go in understanding that an expectation is really important. And I think so many times, you know, parents want to know because they want to be able to help their child. And so I can ask the child what they feel comfortable with me sharing. There's lots of times where I think kiddos, they they build their relationship with the counselor where they have this really great rapport. They have this really close connection. And so they trust the counselor to talk with their parent. So they'll actually ask the counselor sometimes, will you talk to my parent about this? Will you talk to my caregiver about this? Or will you be with me while I talk to my caregiver about this? So there's a lot of moving parts with that question. And I think it's kind of like a case-by-case situation, but I think also just outlining what that looks like initially when you're taking your kiddo to the counselor or whenever you're starting counseling sessions is really important.

Measuring Progress And Setbacks

SPEAKER_03 23:47

Yeah, that's so good. It you know what the expectations that you set early on are the ones that you should really stick to. It doesn't seem like a bad idea to for parents and caregivers to be aware of what you know, what the counseling goals are and in general what the treatment plan is so that they stay informed and you and understand that there's there's a plan here, you know, a pa a clinical plan put in place for for the well-being of their child. So not not deep not sharing details, but letting them know kind of here's the direction we're heading.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

So now let's shift and talk a little bit about medication. So, what is the intended role of medication in supporting mental and emotional health, especially when it comes to children?

SPEAKER_03 24:24

So I had a client recently who I felt medication would be helpful for. This child's mother very strongly disagreed, saying that you you should try counseling first. But from my perspective, and I think the perspective of other caregivers on ranch, this person was not at a point where they would have been receptive to that. So medication was able to provide a foundation so that the child was able to maintain a a level of regulation solid enough for counseling to then be effective. And in the end, we were able to convince mom that this this might, you know, this is something we should try. And she agreed to it. And we've seen a lot of a lot of positive changes in that person.

Privacy, Parents, And Treatment Goals

SPEAKER_01 25:07

Sometimes we can think about medication as kind of being a a bridge from one point to the next because sometimes when a kiddo is experiencing a lot of physiological symptoms that are very difficult, you know, in relation to anxiety symptoms or panic symptoms, medication can be very beneficial. I think it's always really important for there to be ongoing kind of observation of how the kiddo is doing. Lots of conversations between the child, the caregiver, and the psychiatrist, the person who's prescribing the medications as well. Because they're with medication, there are side effects. And we're looking at, you know, trying to do what we can for the best, the best way to help this child get through a challenging situation. And I think it's important to discuss that medication definitely is not the quick fix for emotional issues or mental struggles or mental health struggles or those types of things, but just understanding that sometimes it can be a way to kind of sustain the panic, anxiety symptoms, those types of things, so that the kiddo can get through a specific situation and also helping them to learn that they can utilize coping mechanisms or they can utilize de-escalation strategies in those moments. And the medication kind of gives some support with that. And as they get more comfortable and they feel more confident in doing those things, then at some point looking at is medication still effective for this kiddo, what do we need to do? So that ongoing observation, discussion, that type of thing.

SPEAKER_03 26:42

Yeah, I love that analogy of medication as a bridge. And what you know, if a medication is introduced, that doesn't that doesn't necessarily mean that it should be the only intervention. As a medication is introduced as a way to just kind of stabilize some symptoms, other interventions can then be introduced as well to provide support. So that maybe one day the medication can be changed or eliminated entirely.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

And generally speaking, if I'm hearing you guys right, that medication when it comes to these issues typically isn't a cure but a support. Is that right?

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Yeah, that's a really great way to put it.

SPEAKER_03 27:13

Yeah, I would say so as well. Yeah, and as such, kind of requires attuned, attuned care. It's a band-aid that shouldn't be neglected.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

The band-aid similarity is is something that we do have to talk about because it is, you know, essentially kind of holding space for for that wound to heal, right? And so just kind of talking about I I love the emphasis on ongoing observation and continued just discussion on how the kiddo is doing so that it's not something that we started this and we're continuing it and there's no real follow-up.

Medication As A Supportive Bridge

SPEAKER_03 27:46

And in certain situations, I'm sure medication can be a long-term intervention. I've heard the analogy with like diabetes, you would never deprive a diabetic person of insulin. And so medication's not like that all the time, but there may be some instances where long-term use is supported.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

For sure. And depending on the diagnosis, I think it, you know, there are some mental health diagnoses that they can definitely improve, but they may not ever, the symptoms of that diagnosis may never fully disappear. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:17

And that doesn't mean that care and regular check-ins should be eliminated. They should, they're they're always in place.

SPEAKER_02 28:23

What questions should parents ask before starting a medication and what factors should be evaluated first?

SPEAKER_01 28:28

I think parents have to understand the diagnosis. And I think parents need to understand also how this is going to be beneficial and also looking at what all of their options may be. And kind of that would be a really good starting point, I feel like.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

I would add that, you know, factors that should be evaluated first would include those things we talked about earlier, like how is sleep, how is nutrition, what is the routine like, less than ideal, less than ideal structure in those ways are going probably going to result in some level of dysregulation. So I think meeting those very basic needs is definitely an important first step.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

And I think a collaborative approach always works best with the caregivers being a really a part of that conversation and ongoing conversations, just to be able to really give them some understanding. And I think also whenever a caregiver can understand limitations to medication, that's important too. Cause I think sometimes we go into a situation thinking, okay, well, this is happening, but this is going to again fix it, you know, and just being realistic about what the expectations are and what limitations there are with medication usage too.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

And you know, the DSM provides a list of symptoms that, you know, result in these diagnoses. As a trauma-informed organization, we become curious as to kind of the cause of these symptoms. They're it's not just that they exist, but for example, very often trauma results in an overactive nervous system, and that can look a whole lot like ADHD. And so what is the medication really treating? Are we treating, are are we trying to treat the trauma or are we trying to treat the symptoms? And I think that's an important distinction to make.

SPEAKER_02 30:09

Before we go, one thing the listener brought up was that the school was trying to push medication. When families get feedback from schools about medication, what do you think the best way to kind of talk about that and handle that is?

SPEAKER_01 30:21

Yeah, that is a good question. Sometimes I'll, if I have a release and and permission, I'll reach out to the school and just kind of talk about what supports are they providing within their environment to make sure that we're not just kind of talking about medication as a first line approach and really trying to understand what they may be doing in the school setting to support the kiddo's behavior or work with them.

Questions To Ask Before Meds

SPEAKER_03 30:43

Yeah. And ultimately it's the parents and the caregivers who primary source of you know decisions for the child. So it's important for parents to stay informed, do the research, talk to the experts to make sure that they're not, you know, being bullied into a into a decision, but are making one that's well informed.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

I agree. And also it gives us a if we're if we're communicating with the school and talking with the school, it gives us a picture of what may be going on. So is there bullying occurring at school? Is there a learning situation, learning difficulty situation that is occurring in certain classes? You know, it really gives relevance to what what the school's environment looks like to just understand the whole picture and make sure that we have an accurate understanding of what may be occurring there.

SPEAKER_03 31:29

I'd be curious about trends too. For example, have there always been academic struggles or have there always been behavioral struggles at school? Or is it are they new, are these kind of new new things? And if it if they're longstanding concerns, then you know, maybe medication could possibly be helpful. If they are circumstantial, then maybe there's a little bit more to the story that should be considered.

SPEAKER_02 31:52

Well, thank you so much for joining us today. If you'd like to contact us and ask us a question like our listener did for today's episode, our email address is podcast at calfarley.org. I'll make sure and leave a link in the description. And as always, you might have to loan out your cortex today. Just make sure you remember and get it back.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

Thank you for listening to Brain Based Parenting. We hope you enjoyed this show. If you would like more information about CalFarley's Boys Ranch, are interested in employment, would like information about placing your child, or would like to help us help children by donating to our mission, please visit calfarley.org. You can find us on all social media platforms by searching for CalFarley's. Thank you for spending your time with us and have a blessed day.